Ode to the “Surrogate’s Husband”
The Surrogate’s Husband…or ‘YOUR’ surrogate’s husband plays an important, if not understated, role in the entire surrogacy journey.
From the start he must get his mind wrapped around the fact that his wife/partner wants to carry another man’s child. The same woman who may have stated “That’s IT! We are NOT having any more children!!” (this often happens when two children under the age of four years old are hanging on her legs screaming for a snack and the one in her arms is spitting up formula). Once he understands that her statement perhaps meant that she doesn’t want to raise any more children of her own but carrying one for nine months is fine, then he may relax a little…until he finds out that he needs to be psychologically tested as well…and tested for STD’s, sign a contract agreeing to all sorts of things that he wouldn’t normally think about..(allowing Intended Parents to put HIS partner on life support if necessary?). He may not realize that although he agreed to support his wife/partner in her quest to be a surrogate, he may have to step in when the Intended Parents call when she isn’t feeling well, that he will have to take care of their children when she is on bed rest after her egg transfer, or at appointments, that he will have to give a multitude of shots loaded with hormones that turn her into a witch (whom he has to actually live with!), that he will have to miss work when she is in the hospital giving birth, that he will have to hold her when she is sick, tired, scared, crying, that he can’t have any sexual intercourse…all because of this surrogacy that SHE wanted to do! Ahhh the unsung heroes!
Intended parents out there….Intended DAD’s especially, should step up NOW and thank the God above for these men who are the main support of your wonderful surrogate. Without them, these surrogates may end up on YOUR door step at 2 AM for ice cream and pickles and a foot rub….or just to complain!
If you have a story about a special surrogate Dad who rose to heights you never imagined during your surrogate journey, please share with us!