How to Find a Surrogate Mother

Finding a Surrogate

If you’re looking for a surrogate mother to help fulfill your dreams of parenthood, the process can feel overwhelming at first. While the surrogacy process for intended parents has many steps, it all begins with connecting you, the intended parents, with a gestational surrogate who aligns with your goals, values, and unique situation.

This is where an experienced surrogacy agency comes in – The Surrogacy Source will help you navigate this complex process with a team of experts there to help you every step of the way. Learn more about finding a surrogate below, register for access to our surrogate database when you’re ready to take the first step, or contact us if you have any questions!

Step One: Surrogate & Intended Parent Screening

Surrogate Screening

Surrogates are screened by experienced professionals to ensure they are suitable for surrogacy. Screenings include mental health evaluations, medical screening and tests, fertility evaluation, and criminal background checks. Examples of surrogate screening methods include:

• Pre-applicant and full-applicant interviews (including financial and commitment assessments)
• In-home assessments (to evaluate family interaction)
• Medical diagnostic tests and fertility testing (performed by healthcare professionals)
• Psychiatric screenings (performed by a mental health professional)
• Past pregnancy reviews (for surrogates, evaluated by FSC's on-staff RN)

Learn more about the requirements for surrogate mothers.

Intended Parent Profile

Just as you’ll review surrogate profiles to find the right match, potential surrogates will also have the opportunity to view your profile. This is your chance to share a meaningful glimpse into your life—who you are as individuals or a couple, what your family values are, and what kind of parents you hope to be. Your profile will include photos, personal interests, and the values that shape your journey to parenthood.

Before your profile is shared, we’ll guide you through a brief screening process to ensure all intended parents meet the basic program requirements. This includes demonstrating financial stability and completing a background check, which helps build a foundation of trust and transparency for both parties.

Step Two: Surrogate Matching

The match meeting is usually the aspect of the matching process that causes the most anxiety for Intended Parents (IPs). Although you may be nervous about what to expect, what questions to ask, and other concerns, you may be surprised to learn that it’s not uncommon for IPs to explain, “As soon as we met her, we knew she was the right match for us.”

Things to Consider During the Surrogate Matching Process

When considering which surrogate is right for you, there are some important factors to consider, such as:

• Medical requirements (e.g., vaccines and testing for surrogate candidate and spouse)
• Surrogate’s support system (does she have a strong network of family and friends to support her emotionally and logistically throughout the process?)
• Religious preferences 
• Motivation for surrogacy
• Surrogate candidate’s personality
• Geographic location 
• Family situation (e.g., number of children, single vs. married surrogate)

Understanding the Surrogacy Contract

The surrogacy contract is a legal document that details the rights and responsibilities of both the IPs and the gestational surrogate. The contract is a foundation for establishing the IPs’ legal parental rights. A quality surrogacy agreement provides the IPs with legal protection during the surrogacy process and ensures that the IPs have legal parental rights at the time of the baby’s birth. Fertility Source Companies will refer you to one of our in-network legal professionals, who is experienced in surrogacy laws and contracts.

Step 3: Meeting Your Surrogate

Fertility Source Companies coordinates and moderates the initial match meeting between surrogates and intended parents. Feeling prepared can help facilitate a smooth meeting between all parties. Here are some tips for getting ready for your initial meeting:

Tip #1: Take some time to prepare for the meeting – write a list of questions you want to ask, such as why the candidate decided to become a surrogate mother.

Tip #2: Start the interview with a friendly conversation.

Tip #3: Share information about who you and (if applicable) your partner are with the candidate and ask questions that give you a good idea of the surrogate's personality. 

Tip #4: Listen attentively during the interview.  

Tip #5: Don't hesitate to discuss important complex topics (such as asking how much support she would like from you or how her extended family feels about her participation as a surrogate).

Tip #6: Take a relaxed stance and see it as an enjoyable opportunity to get to know the surrogate candidate.

Your Relationship With the Surrogate

Building and maintaining a relationship with the surrogate is an integral part of the surrogate journey. The emotional well-being of the surrogate as well as the baby’s health are important factors during the surrogacy process. Anything you can do to support her will ultimately help the surrogate and your baby. It’s common for surrogates and IPs to build long-lasting relationships, even after the baby is born. Remember that part of a surrogate’s motive is to help a family struggling to have a child.

Step 4: The Surrogate Pregnancy

After you’ve completed the legal aspects of the surrogacy process with your surrogate, the next milestone is embryo transfer. Gestational surrogates get pregnant via an intrauterine in vitro fertilization (IVF) process, using an embryo created with either your egg, your partner’s egg, or a donor egg, depending on your fertility plan. The embryo is transferred into your surrogate’s uterus at a fertility clinic, typically around 6 to 10 days after fertilization.

If the transfer is successful, your surrogate’s pregnancy will be monitored closely during the early stages. Around the end of the first trimester, your surrogate will “graduate” from the fertility clinic and begin receiving routine prenatal care from her OBGYN. Throughout the pregnancy, you’ll be kept informed of medical updates and milestones as you prepare to welcome your baby.

During the Birthing Process

When it’s time for the baby’s arrival, you may be able to join your surrogate in the hospital room during labor and delivery, depending on the hospital’s policies. When allowed in the labor and delivery room, IPs are often invited to bond with the baby immediately after birth through skin-to-skin contact, a powerful first connection. You may also be offered the opportunity to cut the baby’s umbilical cord after delivery. Your care team and your surrogate will work together to ensure that this special moment reflects your wishes and celebrates your journey to parenthood.

Establishing Parentage

IPs must be established as the baby's legal parents through legal action in every surrogacy arrangement. Establishing parentage allows IPs to be named legal parents on the birth certificate. In some states, including California, IPs can open a case to establish parentage during the surrogate’s pregnancy. The exact legal process varies depending on the situation (e.g., whether one or both IPs are the genetic parents) and the state's surrogacy laws. Fertility Source Companies refers all our IPs to our in-network legal counsel to learn more about the legalities of establishing parentage.

All of the legal paperwork should be in place at the time of birth to ensure you have medical decision-making rights. Some states require IPs to sign a parentage order after the baby's birth; in this instance, the paperwork is submitted to the birthing institution to ensure you have legal parental rights and can make decisions for your child. 

IPs must apply for a birth certificate designating them as legal parents after the child’s birth. The time it takes to complete the process of applying for a birth certificate depends on the baby’s birth state. After hospital discharge, you can take your new baby home and begin your exciting new family journey together!

Find Your Surrogate With Fertility Source Companies

Since 2003, Fertility Source Companies’ division, “The Surrogacy Source,” has been helping intended parents and surrogates find each other to make dreams of parenthood come true. We have case managers throughout the U.S., many of whom have experienced surrogacy themselves, who are available to provide the highest level of service and support 24/7, every day of the year. Our experienced team can provide:

• Education (regarding medications, legalities, screening processes, etc.)
• Medical guidance (e.g., helping you understand how the IVF process works)
• Attorney referral  (to locate an attorney experienced in helping you navigate the legalities of the surrogacy contract and establishing parentage)
• Financial resources
• Emotional support
• Monthly support group meetings

Fertility Source Companies has a membership with the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM), abiding by all guidelines set for egg donors and surrogates. We provide support and guidance throughout the entire surrogacy experience, from the initial consultation and matching process, understanding the legalities of your surrogacy contract, to your child’s birth, and plans to return home.

In addition to our ASRM membership, Fertility Source Companies is also a founding agency of the Society for Ethics in Egg Donation and Surrogacy (SEEDS), an organization dedicated to promoting best practices and integrity in third-party reproduction. Our current CEO, Donna Raidy, and former CEO, Steve Masler, were both founding members of SEEDS, and our Vice President of Operations, Missi Lockwood, who served as SEEDS Program Coordinator and Conference Committee Chair for 3 years. This leadership reflects our deep-rooted commitment to ethical standards and the well-being of everyone involved in the surrogacy journey.

Find a Surrogate With Fertility Source Companies

If you’re ready to take the first step towards finding a surrogate, we invite you to browse our surrogate database. Register now for free access!

FAQs about Finding a Surrogate Mother

Is Finding a Surrogate Hard?

Finding qualified gestational surrogates is a very complex process. Although surrogates often reside in cities, towns, and rural locations across the country, it would be a daunting endeavor for IPs to find a well-suited, qualified surrogate on their own. That’s the reason most IPs employ a gestational surrogacy agency. At Fertility Source Companies, we have a surrogate database ready for you to start browsing right away. We ensure that our surrogates are fully screened via background checks, insurance reviews, psychological evaluations, and in-depth pregnancy record reviews performed by our on-staff RN.

When can we bring our baby home after the paperwork is complete?

The timeline for bringing your baby home depends on a few factors, including your baby's health at birth and the legal process required in the state where your surrogate delivers. Each state has different statutes regarding how long it takes to issue a birth certificate. Some states allow IPs to file for a pre-birth order as early as the fourth month of pregnancy, but exactly when you can apply depends on the laws in the baby’s birth state. Your surrogacy attorney and surrogacy director will assist you in having you named as the legal parent/s on the birth certificate. International IPs must usually wait two to three weeks to allow time to apply for passports and complete the legal paperwork before taking the baby home.

How long will it take to find a surrogate?

The length of time it takes to find a surrogate varies for every IP, depending on several factors, such as the fertility clinic, state laws, and IPs and surrogate preferences. Location influences the length of time to find a surrogate as well; for example, international IPs have a few more steps to go through during the process. What's most important to understand is that every person's surrogacy journey is different. Becoming a parent through surrogacy is most often a long process that requires trust, hope, and lots of patience.

In the event of a health complication during pregnancy or just after the baby’s birth, who is responsible for making medical decisions for the baby?

If a medical complication occurs, the IPs usually make medical decisions depending on state laws (where the baby is born) and the terms (which must be agreed upon in advance) in the surrogate contract. If the state allows for a pre-birth order for parental custody, it helps clarify that the IPs have the legal right to make decisions in an emergency.