How to Bond With Your Baby During a Surrogate Pregnancy

For many couples and individuals, gestational surrogacy provides an avenue in which their family-building dreams can become a reality. Surrogacy can be used for several scenarios, including:

  • Having preexisting conditions that make carrying a pregnancy not possible
  • Being part of an LGBT partnership
  • Having uterine problems
  • Lacking a uterus

Although surrogacy can be a beautiful way to create or expand a family, some people worry that bonding with a child born through surrogacy will be difficult. This can be especially true for women who have conflicting feelings about the idea of their own child developing inside someone else’s body. While it’s true that using a surrogate is different from carrying a baby yourself, bonding with your baby is still something that you can achieve.

Be Involved With the Pregnancy

If it’s logistically possible and if the surrogate agrees, you can try to spend as much time as you can with your surrogate while she is carrying your baby. Accompanying her on doctor’s visits is one way you can be closer to her, the pregnancy, and the baby. Even if you’re not carrying the child yourself, being involved in this part of the process will help you feel more connected.

Talk to the Baby

Talking to your baby while he or she is in utero is a great way to establish a bond before the baby is born. Even in a traditional pregnancy, many women talk, read, and sing to their babies as they grow inside the womb. It’s also not uncommon for partners to join in on this in utero communication.

Babies in the womb can start hearing sounds around 18 weeks of pregnancy and have been shown to respond to voices around 25 or 26 weeks. Not only will talking to your baby as it develops in your surrogate’s womb help you feel more connected to him or her, but it could also help the baby become familiar with you before the two of you even meet.

If you and your surrogate don’t live close enough to each other to make this a regular possibility, record messages that your surrogate can play for the baby.

Bond Through Touch

One of the biggest ways that parents and babies bond is through skin-to-skin contact. Between feeding, bathing, diaper changing, and general snuggling, you’ll have a lot of opportunities to establish a bond with your baby through touch.

Learn More

Although having a baby via a surrogate is different from natural childbirth, there are still plenty of opportunities and ways to bond with your baby. If you’re considering using a surrogate to build your family and have any questions about the emotional transference process, please contact Fertility Source Companies and we will assist you in every way we can.