I have worked as a match-maker and case manager for over 13 years and enjoy assisting Intended Parents in finding an egg donor for their cycle. One of the first questions that I hear from an Intended Parent is “How do I know which donor to choose?”
The process for choosing an egg donor may come very easily to some Intended Parents and they are able to make a choice within their first few searches. For others, it can take days, weeks or even months. The most important thing is to remember that the egg donor can never be you or replace you.
I do suggest to Intended Parents that it is helpful to make a list of their preferences for an egg donor and decide which are most important to them. My first item I ask is if they are looking for only a local donor or will broaden their search to include donors that may have to travel long distance for the cycle. This can add additional costs to the cycle for travel and local monitoring, so I think that this is one of the first decisions that should be made in the search process. If you are unable to find a donor that is local, you can always expand your search.
I recommend that Intended Parents first start their search with broad parameters. It is helpful to start reading the profiles of different donors and decide what responses become most important to you. This general search may help you decide to expand your preferences for an egg donor or you may realize that you need to narrow your requirements. You can always add eye or hair color, height, ethnicity and even educational background to this search once you feel more comfortable with the process.
I often ask Intended Parents what influenced them most to choose their donor. Unless someone says that the donor looked just like them or their sister, most Intended Parents will say that they were able to choose their donor because she stood out to them from the other donors that they were considering. Often they cannot even identify what it was that stood out, but they started to compare other donors to her profile or kept on returning to her profile. Once this starts to happen, it is time to realize you have found your donor.
This article was composed by Susan Cohen, Fertility Source Companies Senior Regional Manager-Midwest