With egg donation and sperm donation, parents have the extra concern of what to tell their child regarding where they came from. This is not a simple “birds and bees” conversation yet it can be as simple as that. Parents often have unfounded fears that their child will reject them if they know the truth.
Although there are papers, articles and books on this topic, in this post we would like to keep it as simple as possible. First and foremost accept yourself as your child’s parent! You are rising, nurturing, and loving a human being that you helped create. Acknowledge that you are the reason that your child exists!
Secondly, remember that parents read books to their children starting at a very young age. When you chose your books like “I Love You This Much” or “Goodnight Moon” add in a couple of children’s books on egg donation such as “One More Giraffe” by Kim Noble or “Mom and Dad and the Journey They Had” by Molly Summer. Books like these will prepare your young child for future questions and answers regarding his/her origins. Talking about how different families are made and what really matters at the end of the day is that they are loved and wanted sets the ground work for honest communication as your child grows.
Third, we suggest that if you have fears that you can not seem to put to rest, contact a mental health professional in the field of third party reproduction. You will find several who can help you find the words you need to explain to your child(ren) how they were created AND how much you love them.
If you have ever had a conversation with your child about egg donation or sperm donation and would like to share it with our readers please contact us with your story! Many Intended Parents would benefit from hearing your thoughts and suggestions!