We often hear about the high demand for gestational surrogates, so when a woman makes that decision to put herself out there and be that person, she opens herself up and exposes herself to vulnerability. No one submits an application of any sorts hoping to be denied, you go into it with a sense of confidence and excitement and the anticipation of good news and proceeding forward.
But the unfortunate reality is that may not always be the case.
When an agency disqualifies an applicant, it is with great sorrow. There is often a long list of hopeful parents waiting for a qualified carrier, and we do not want to disappoint nor prolong their journey – we want them to have their family nearly as bad as THEY want their family.
However, as an agency we have a responsibility to screen each and every applicant to the best of our abilities, and to retire the applications we receive that do not meet industry expectations 100%.
It is never a personal attack on you, dear applicant.
You may only be 2 points above the BMI requirements, but our hands are tied. If we started making exceptions for 1 or 2 points higher, where does the line get drawn? These guidelines are implemented after years of research by leading Reproductive Endocrinology Specialists. With higher (yes, even 1 or 2 points) BMI comes a lesser response to the ideal dosage of medication, which means more medication which in turn means higher cost to the parents. More medications does not always equate better response.
If an applicant is on government assistance (medical, WIC, food stamps, welfare, etc.), we aren’t denying your application because we don’t feel you are good enough – what a golden heart you have to offer your body, your womb, your family, to those wanting to be parents through surrogacy. However, we have to look out for you as well. Once you are receiving the monthly stipend ($200), there is a strong probability you will lose your benefits. Once you are paid your full surrogate fee, you will lose your benefits. What position does that put you in? Will you be able to feed yourself and your children? Will your children be able to get the medical care they need?
So take this information to heart, and understand that your application IS appreciated. If we could accept everyone willing we would – but there is a reason, and a science, behind our screening process and it is a reputation we uphold and maintain to honor all parties involved.
Article composed by Fertility Source Companies Senior Case Manager-Regional and International, Arika Avedano-Tucker