The Donor SOURCE of New England

Steve Masler, CEO of The Donor Source International, LLC, a national egg donor and surrogacy agency, has announced the formation of a division, The Donor Source of New England, that will focus on the New England market.

The Donor Source, which maintains an office in Massachusetts and employs a Case Management staff based in the Boston area, serves the egg donation and surrogacy needs of fertility practices throughout New England. The newly formed division will continue to provide the services in the same manner as has been the case, but with increased attention to local needs and customs.

Questions about this release may be directed to Susan Bloom, Marketing Director or Sheryl Steinberg, Senior Case Manager. Susan can be reached at 877.375.8888 extension 305, and Sheryl is available at extension 313. The Donor SOURCE of New England is located at 225 Franklin St, 26th Floor, Boston MA 02110.

Living In the Now

There are times when clichés like “Think positive!” and “There is no education like adversity.” make our ears sneer. Somewhere after your 2nd or 3rd failed IVF cycle you might feel like telling the next person who offers up one of these choice phrases just exactly where they can put their positive thinking. These are the times we look to ourselves to find some way to escort us through whatever personal challenge we face.

We caught up with Stephanie and Alisa, who collaboratively created The V-List, a fantastic blog which celebrates the now before motherhood; claiming, owning and completely optimizing their time before it is all bottles and binkies. A reminder that this time is indeed part of the journey and it can and should be memorable, meaningful and fun! Check out the V-List and read some heartfelt wisdom from its creators.

Q. What is the V-List?

Stephanie and Alisa: Since struggle with fertility can quickly suck the joy right out of life, we wanted to inject some back in. And the V-List was born. The V-List is a list of activities we couldn’t do if we were pregnant mixed with things we keep talking about doing but never get around to actually doing (like jumping out of planes and visiting psychics in rural towns). This is a celebration of our meantime, our seemingly never-ending state of in-between doctor’s appointments, IVFs, procedures, trying, trying again, and waiting for test results or the adoption agency to call and say there’s a child waiting.

On a deeper level, this list is a list about living life to the fullest every day. This list is a tribute to life–our own life, the ones we may create, and the ones we may adopt.

Q. If it is even definable, what was it within you that inspired you to create the V-List?

Alisa: What was within me was fear, pure and simple. I was tired of dreading questions from family and friends, tired of sitting in somber waiting rooms where no one looked at each other, tired of listening to friends complain about morning sickness (something I looked forward to!), and tired of feeling passive in the experience. So I touched that fear, got to know her a little, scratched her behind the ears and decided it was time to embrace this fear rather than ignore it.

Stephanie: For me it was the desire to live my life. The actual life I have instead of the one I wished I had or thought I should have. As in, I'm not pregnant, okay, let's get on a roller coaster today or jump out of an airplane or just do something silly and fun that makes me feel like a teenager. I didn't want to look back on the time I was trying to build a family as an entirely dark time, but instead look back and say I'm so glad I did all those things! The V-list helps me remember to live my life now, instead of always living moments that may be months or years down the road.

Q. What personal rewards have you seen at this point from devoting your energies to the V-List?

Alisa: The personal rewards come in many forms, from women contacting us from all over the country to no longer being afraid of the unknown. The V list has evolved from a list to a lifestyle. Infertility has grown into an experience, not something that happened to me. Living life to the fullest, not putting it off, is the crux of the V list. Simply living life, not taking it for granted, doing things I've always wanted to do with an inspiring friend has been a profound reward.

Stephanie: Getting back to myself a bit, knowing that children will not complete me because I am complete already. Infertility and our little adventures have taught me that. Knowing it puts me in a good spot to welcome the hills and valleys of parenthood with open arms. Also, a deep and meaningful relationship with Alisa has been a great reward. I love my fertile friends, but having someone to be around on the days you feel like rolling your eyes every time a stroller rolls by is invaluable. It's been wonderful to have a friend to share my ugly thoughts and my happy thoughts with.

Q. What is the most unexpected thing that has happened since you developed this idea?

Alisa: In the beginning I wanted to be treated just like everyone else who was trying to have children. Now I see that is impossible. Infertility changes a person. Not having children easily shifts you. And as challenging as the experience has been, I wouldn't trade it for having kids any other way. I feel the deeper the cut, the deeper level of appreciation can fill and heal the wound. Your heart breaks but it breaks open. I used to be afraid of the pain but now I see it as a great opportunity to feel an even deeper sense of joy.

Stephanie: Finding out that going through infertility can be a happy time. It doesn't ALL have to be sad and anxious. Of course I've spent many, many hours crying and wringing my hands, but there have also been profoundly happy moments. I recently had surgery to remove two very large cysts from my ovaries. Afterwards the doctor said we could try IVF but that the odds weren't good. The strangest thing happened when he told me that, I felt a huge wave of relief and joy. I just knew that adoption was our path and I felt happy about it. I felt it so deeply. Infertility and Living the V List have taught me that I don't control everything and that's okay. Life is like a big rollercoaster and sometimes you just have to go where it's taking you and enjoy the exhilarating ride.

Also, singing Love is a Battlefield in a country bar after riding a mechanical bull-that was quite something. Since I'm adopting, the sky's the limit with my baby shower, hang-gliding, rock- climbing, swinging from vines. I can do whatever I want!