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Archive for June, 2012Single Dads By Choice: More Men Going It AloneWednesday, June 27th, 2012B.J. Holt always wanted to be a dad. As he approached 40, with no life partner in sight, he felt a version of the ticking biological clock. “The ‘having the children thing’ started to overwhelm the desire to have the relationship first,” Holt says. “They sort of switched on me.” So Holt decided to go it alone. A few years ago, he used an egg donor and a surrogate to create a family of his own. The Gift of Being Gay and a DadSunday, June 17th, 2012By MARCUS MABRY http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/ Happy Father’s Day A series of posts honoring everything Dad. When I finally accepted in my 20s that I was gay and that in order to live a life true to myself I had to come out, I knew there were “risks.” When my mother let loose a stream of consciousness list of fears that the world would visit on me for being openly gay – including never finding happiness, or being bashed coming out of a bar with my lover – the one she settled on was “…and you always wanted to be a father.” It was the thing that broke my heart: the feeling that by coming out, I was giving up the one thing I had always wanted since I was a kid – more than any profession or any pursuit – being a dad. I didn’t have a choice, of course. Most gay men of my generation came out when we simply could not stand the lying or daily self-denial any longer. Still, I mourned for myself and for the children I would never have. Even as an adult, even having come to terms with my sexuality, even having decided – after much searching, and periods of being an atheist and an agnostic – that God had made me as I am, somewhere I still felt that being denied fatherhood was punishment for being gay. Then came the revolution. Scientific advances outraced laws (and conservatives’ imaginations), and surrogacy provided a route to parenthood that was unthinkable when my generation of gay men was picturing our futures. Even in deep red states where adoption by lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgendered people can be impossible, surrogacy is usually unregulated and often practiced. When I turned 40 I decided it was time. By then surrogacy was so en vogue among those who could afford it – gay and straight alike – that I knew that was the route I wanted to take. My partner wanted to have children, too, but he was younger than I was and he had not decided at that point, as I had, that he would have children, no matter what. We also differed over the primacy of having a family. As he put it, he did not feel that his life would be incomplete without children. I did. What would a well-off gay couple have to show at the end of a life spent together: photos of the various exotic trips they had taken? This is us at the pyramids. This is us at Angkor Wat. This is us in Patagonia. This is us in Paris. A series of travelogues as proof of a life well-lived. Of course, career, philanthropy, extended family, working to improve the world can all be immensely gratifying pursuits, but – for me – I believed that building a family and leaving children as a legacy would be my best-lived life. And even though he didn’t think it a necessity, my partner was thrilled, if filled with trepidation, about trying surrogacy. After our first gestational surrogate miscarried in the first trimester, we went on to have an ideal surrogacy experience. Our surrogate became our friend and finally family. She had a nearly flawless pregnancy. And our boys are the best part of our lives. They are our little miracles. Every time I look at them I understand that far from being cursed, being a little gay boy was a blessing. It taught me compassion. It taught me how to rise above fear and self-hatred. It made me stronger. Today, I feel well and truly blessed. My partner and I have all those travelogue snap shots from before we had kids. We’ll be revisiting all those places and taking new pictures again, with our sons. Khloe Kardashian looks into fertility treatments in hopes of having baby with husband Lamar OdomWednesday, June 13th, 2012Despite previously insisting she and husband Lamar Odom will try for a baby the old-fashioned way, Khloe Kardashian is now reportedly looking into alternatives. The youngest Kardashian sister, who has been very vocal about her desire to get pregnant, is now looking into fertility treatments, TMZ reports. Fertility SOURCE Companies Attends International LGBT Family Building Event in Barcelona, SpainTuesday, June 12th, 2012The Second European Conference on LGBT Families welcomes almost 1000 people from 23 different European countries. Among the event highlights was the surrogacy seminar on ‘European Men Having Babies’. There has been an increasing desire to become parents among gay European couples. However, resources about the topic are often difficult, and sometimes impossible, to find. Since 2005, The ‘Men Having Babies’ seminar has helped hundreds of men navigate the complicated road to parenting through surrogacy. “Fertility SOURCE Companies was excited to participate in the ‘Men having Babies’ conference as we realize there is a growing need to help both the International and LGBT communities understand the sometimes overwhelming pathway to parenthood. Our surrogacy staff who themselves have been surrogates, stand ready to help with cycle coordination, making the process go as smoothly as possible. Our egg donation staff of seasoned case managers, including a certified IVF nurse practitioner are always at hand, going the extra mile to ensure their intended parents are cared for with the utmost compassion and skill. Fertility SOURCE Companies has many contacts for needed referrals to attorneys, fertility centers and psychologists that are experienced and welcome the opportunity to work with both the International and LGBT communities.” Says Donna Raidy, COO and Director of Egg Donor Case Management The legal process for international surrogacy and egg donation is often more complex for hopeful parents of the LGBT community. Fertility SOURCE Companies offers exceptional resources and support for LGBT individuals and couples interested in third party reproduction in the US. The United States is often a top destination for international third party reproduction because of friendly fertility laws, highly regulated medical care, favorable exchange rate, and a safe and easy return home. Fertility SOURCE Companies (The Donor SOURCE and The Surrogacy SOURCE) has served the third party reproduction needs of the fertility community for over eight years. Its clients are able to choose from one of the most comprehensive egg donor and surrogacy databases in the country, containing over 1400 available egg donors as well as over 20 gestational carriers from all parts of the country. Each of Fertility SOURCE Companies egg donors and surrogates are personally met, carefully screened and counseled, and ready to be matched with intended parents. Fertility SOURCE Companies, registered with the FDA and compliant with all regulations and standards set forth by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine has served over 2,000 satisfied Intended Parents since inception. Neil Patrick Harris opens up about surrogacy to OprahMonday, June 4th, 2012Actor Neil Patrick Harris has opened up his home to Oprah Winfrey as part of a revealing new interview about fatherhood. The “How I Met Your Mother” star and his partner, David Burtka, who are parents to 19-month-old twins Gideon and Harper, invited the media mogul to their sprawling estate for the TV chat.
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